BACK TO LA LA LAND
Well, we’re back to living in LA for a little bit. Hutton’s new chemo can be outpatient, thank you Jesus, but it is 5 consecutive days which means, for everyone’s sanity, we will be staying at a hotel near UCLA while Hutton gets her treatment.
Next week, Hutton and Steph will be living in LA from Sunday to Friday, and Hutton will get chemo daily Monday to Friday. This is not our first rodeo, since this is what we did when Hutton was going through radiation. We know what to expect, but it is still a lot. There is a community kitchen at the hotel, so Steph can cook meals for Hutton, which means DoorDashing less (As long as her tastebuds cooperate), but it entails bringing EVERYTHING up there (pots, pans, cooking items, etc.) Still, the fact that she doesn’t HAVE to be admitted for 5 days, even if that is logistically and financially easier, is a small blessing for Hutton. Just having the freedom to not have her port accessed, not be attached to fluids 24/7, and being able to go out in Westwood and go to the farmers market and feel the sunshine walking to and from the hotel to the infusion center is such a blessing. We are also able to fit in doctors appointments while we are up there which is great because it’s one less early morning drive to and from Westwood. This appointment is with one of her lung surgeons, so we will know more about her upcoming lung surgery after that appointment.
When we found out that Hutton’s chemo schedule would be changing and that she would be having another surgery, we also realized that our summer was going to be drastically different than we had planned. All trips with Hutton were cancelled and ALL things just changed. But Steph was determined to give Hutton a fun summer, so very last minute she found a house in the desert with literally everything a kid (and an adult) could ever want. It even had Hutton’s favorite, a lazy river. We booked it super last minute, invited a bunch of friends and had an absolute BLAST! It was so perfect because Hutton could be in the pool or the lazy river, the water slides or even he game room! Shoe could go anywhere on the property or if needed, just go inside and relax and recharge. This was exactly what she needed. Even more important, she was able to move around the house and property “mostly” on her own. She has been determined to do more on her own and without help, and this property was perfect for that, and I was able to relax a bit because I knew the friends she had with her would look after her as well.
It was so fun to see her just be a kid, the house had a bunk room and the girls would hang out in there, sleep in there, and just have the quintessential girls sleepover. That experience is something that you want your child to experience and seems like such a simple and often taken for granted event, but for us, when Hutton was diagnosed we didn’t know if that would ever happen for her, so seeing it happen was amazing. It was also perfect because her taste buds are so specific with chemo that we could make her favorite foods and not have to worry about eating at a restaurant and if they would have something Hutton could eat. It was amazing as parents to just sit back and watch her be a kid with her friends, which is so rare. She has grown up so fast going through her fight with cancer, that sometimes I forget she is still just a kid. Also as a parent, to be able to relax and have a great time because there was soooo much for her (and us) to do at the property.
It’s funny, for someone who has almost died on multiple occasions, is reminded of it daily, and someone who has seen and been around so much death…why has it taken my daughter having cancer to really “see” that you never know when your last moments will be and when that happens you can’t take anything with you. I have been so focused on providing a good life and future for her future, that many times I forgot about the NOW.
It’s that realization that makes me want to allow her to be as happy as she can be and enjoy as much of life as she can, RIGHT NOW. We have kind of taken on the mentality of you can always work more and earn more. After all, money is a renewable resource, time is not. You can’t always make more experiences and memories and those are priceless. So if I need to work more and take on more, I will. If it gives us the opportunity to do something meaningful with her and create a core memory for her, then we just make it happen.
